usually a short time after exposure but just because she has it and you have been sexual and are itching does not mean you have it too. but if you do, you shoudl be seeing a small patch of tiny fever blisters in the near future. this disease is not sublte and will hit you pretty hard. blisters, pain, swollen glands in the pelvis, fluish symptoms. Believe me, there will be NO doubt.
there is no reason to burn yourself out on stress. simply wait another week or so and then go to a doctor and get tested for HSV-2 antibodies. genital is hsv-2, oral is hsv-1
And if you do have it, it's not the end of the world. read my reply post to 'sugar coaed truth' made earlier. it discusses methods of leaving outbreaks forever.