I can understand your anger with your friends boyfriend. Also, I can relate to the pain that she is feeling. I felt very devastated when I found out that I had herpes also. However, killing him or suing him or whatever means to take your anger out on him will not change what has happened to her.
I have had the virus for about 10 years now. I got it the very first time I had sex. I was scared, worried, I figured I was the only one. I didn't think that I would ever have sex again. It is now a minor nuisance in my life. Then it wasn't though. The very hardest and most devasting part of having it was telling someone that you want to be with that you have it and being rejected. I urge everyone, infected or not, to educate themselves with the facts by doing research. I have come to terms with it now.
I have been more open with friends about it. I am educated to know that it is, of course, not something anyone wants to have, but it is also not something to be ashamed of. Herpes doesn't discriminate just like every other STD. I have found out by being open about it that 3 people that I know have it too. They actually never spoke to anyone about it and were able to confide in me. By using my bad experience to educate my friends, I hope to prevent them from contracting it. Still, many other friends that I try to tell continue to have unprotected sex with multiple partners. I hope for their sake that they don't have to contract something to learn to be smarter about their health. And if anyone who does know I have it wants to judge me, they need to realize that it can happen to them just as easily and it doesn't change ME!
I know it is now devastating for your friend. But, one day I hope that she will see that it is not the end of the world even though it feels awful now. She will have a happy relationship with someone and, YES, she will be able to tell them about HERPES and they will love her and she will have a normal sex life and she will have children, etc., etc. I am living proof of this.