My guess is that you do not have it though, as the first outbreak is torrential and there would be no question.
Also, my personal opinion is that the asymptomatic shedding is rare. I had unprotected sex with the girl who infected me for nearly a year before I got it.. after a period of heavy stress in her life and heavy alcohol consumption (= outbreak). She didn't know she had it, apparently, after lying to me in similar fashion: "I have been tested for EVERYTHING".
Regardless of my story, sounds like this guy cannot be trusted and my intuition after reading your post is telling me that you should dump him and find someone more deserving of Your Light. Plus, ex-wife with whom he shares sexual energy/history still in picture = RED FLAG!!!