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Re: yoked to a nonbeliever
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Published: 18 years ago
This is a reply to # 401,132

Re: yoked to a nonbeliever

I found this teaching :

The Christian who is already married to an unbeliever:

If you are already married to an unbeliever, you are probably wondering, "Am I out of God's will now that I am married to an unbeliever? Has God forsaken me?" The answer is clearly, "No!" It may seem contradictory to say it's wrong to marry an unbeliever, and then say you can be in God's will after you have married him.

But remember, God works with us in one way before we make a decision through pointing us down the right path. He works with us in a different way after we have made the decision through accepting our decision and working in it. This can be verified throughout Scripture, particularly in Romans 8:28. Isn't it great to know that we serve such a loving, all-knowing, gracious God that when we make a mistake, we are not doomed to live forever in condemnation! By dedicating our wrong decisions to God, He will accept us in our present situation and work our decisions into His will (Eph. 1:11). He will do the same with your unequally yoked marriage.

As a word of encouragement to Christians who have unbelieving spouses, some of the most loving and blessed Christian married couples that I know started out with both spouses as unbelievers in a totally non-Christian marriage. Along the way, one got saved and then the other, and they now have a beautiful Christian marriage. If you are a believer, at least you are now half way there! Your spouse might be fighting against God, but wouldn't it wonderful to see him saved so that God can do a miracle in your marriage too? Don't give up hope!

No doubt many of you who have unbelieving spouses have already gone through a lot of heartache. I'm sure you have even been persecuted by the one you are closest to. Here are some things that will help you when the going gets tough:

Helpful Hints for Hurting Marriages

1. Realize that God knows about your situation.

It helps to know that God understands what you are going through. A sparrow can't fall to the ground without our Father knowing about it (Matt 10:29-31). God knew millions of years ago whom you would marry, and it didn't take Him by surprise. He desires to work in your marriage.

2.Don't divorce your unbelieving spouse

First Corinthians 7:12-16 tells the Christian not to divorce the unbelieving spouse. This is clear evidence that you can be in God's will while married to an unbeliever. Some of the Corinthian Christians thought that since they were married to unbelievers, then their marriages were polluted and rejected by God. Paul tells them in 1Cor 7:14 that their marriages had the opposite effect--that the unbelieving husband and any children were sanctified, that is set apart by God because of the Christian wife.

Although the believer is not to leave the unbeliever, if the unbeliever departs, then let him depart (v.15). You can't make the unbeliever accept Christ and if he chooses to leave, then you are not under bondage to him anymore because God has called you to peace (v.15).

3. Let God use you in your marriage

God wants to use you as an instrument to bring your family to Himself. One of the primary areas of evangelism and ministry should be the family. God used the Philippian jailer to win his household to Christ in Acts 16:25-34. First Peter 3:1-4 tells us that an unsaved husband can be won to the Lord through seeing his wife's godly behavior and attitudes. A submissive and godly attitude can open his heart to the Lord.

4. When your spouse causes trouble, realize where it is coming from.

We have a tendency to look at the person, rather than the spirit behind the person. We don't wrestle with flesh and blood, but with demon spirits (Eph 6:12). Once we realize that the real problem is Satan, we have a much easier time with the person that Satan is using. We can learn to love the person and not take his attack personally because he is in spiritual darkness and doesn't realize he is being used by the devil. Remember, before you were saved you were also a child of the devil and thought the same way.

5. Pray for him and your family daily.

The effective prayer of a righteous person can accomplish much. God wants everyone to be saved, not wishing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance (1Tim 2:4, 2 Pet 3:9). Your prayers will make it easier for him to yield to God and more difficult for him to continue in rebellion. Be prepared, however, for things to get worse before they get better.

If a person will not willing come to Jesus, many times his whole world will fall apart as God starts shaking the idols in his life. He may start taking his frustration out on you, but just realize that this is God making him dissatisfied with the things of this world.

6. Submit to him as to the Lord. (Eph 5:22, Col 3:18, 1Pet 3:1).

You are to recognize the husband's authority over you even if he is not saved. God has placed authorities over us to order our lives such as government (Rom 13:1-4), employers (1 Pet 2:18), husbands (Eph 5:23) and parents (Eph 6:1). We must obey as to the Lord, that is, we don't have to obey if they tell us to disobey what God says (Acts 5:28-29).

7. Be Patient!

It may take some time for God to renew your marriage, but look at God's timetable, not yours. Continue to pray because God is listening.

So from this teaching it is clear what a Chistian Wife is to do, when married to an unbeliever. Believe me when I say it is harder to leave, then to stay. So, unless you are in a truly abusive relationship where you are afraid for your child's life and your own. Please stay, pray and converse with God on this subject. Let Him use you . Remember, we serve a MIGHTY God, who can change any and all circumstances. Be patient, God will cause change in His perfect timing.

If we can be of an support, or help to you. We are here, ready to lend an ear or advice. Blessings, and may you find the strength you need from our Heavenly Father in your time of need. He will never leave, nor forsake you. He's right there all the time.

1 Peter 3


~~~~> 1In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands, even those who refuse to accept the Good News. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won over 2by watching your pure, godly behavior. <~~~~
3Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5That is the way the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, when she called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.


7In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat her with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. If you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard.

All Christians

8Finally, all of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds. 9Don't repay evil for evil. Don't retaliate when people say unkind things about you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it. 10For the Scriptures say,

"If you want a happy life and good days,
keep your tongue from speaking evil,
and keep your lips from telling lies.
Turn away from evil and do good.
Work hard at living in peace with others.
The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right,
and his ears are open to their prayers.
But the Lord turns his face
against those who do evil."

Suffering for Doing Good

13Now, who will want to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don't be afraid and don't worry. 15Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if you are asked about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it. 16But you must do this in a gentle and respectful way. Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak evil against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ. 17Remember, it is better to suffer for doing good, if that is what God wants, than to suffer for doing wrong!
18Christ also suffered when he died for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners that he might bring us safely home to God. He suffered physical death, but he was raised to life in the Spirit.
19So he went and preached to the spirits in prison-- 20those who disobeyed God long ago when God waited patiently while Noah was building his boat. Only eight people were saved from drowning in that terrible flood.[3] 21And this is a picture of baptism, which now saves you by the power of Jesus Christ's resurrection. Baptism is not a removal of dirt from your body; it is an appeal to God from a clean conscience.
22Now Christ has gone to heaven. He is seated in the place of honor next to God, and all the angels and authorities and powers are bowing before him.


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