I don't understand why you're being accused of scraping the bottom of the barrell. This is an onion article, after all. Also, the question regarding Christians and Creationists is pointless--only christians believe in creation "science."
The funniest part about all of this is that there is far more tangible evidence for evolution than there is for gravity. Gravity is still a "theory," actually.
Those that support creation would do well to read more Gould. His strongest argument being that arguing Science vs creationism is mixing paradigms. Science depends inherently on its fallability; its ability to be questioned. Christianity (creationists), argue for infallible doctrine. This, of course, opposes the fundamental nature of scientific advancement.
Still, there is no reason one can't be a christian and still believe in evolution. (creationism actually rejects evolution, by the way)
Anyway, good post Corinthian. I laughed again! (I knew that article was familiar)
--Nice comeback too (bottom of the barrell...)