Snowgirl... calm down!
One of the problems I can see is in that you have about 1,000 things going on at once. With everything you have going, it's almost impossible to tell what is going on, what is causing what, why you feel however you feel, and so on. I'd relax for a minute, and maybe consider taking some things OUT to see if thigns improve for you, then slowly adding them back in. I've done the same thing... gotten all primed up and ready to go and bought everything that everyone suggested and dumped it into me... and got confused too.
Just my feedback.