i also went through same experiences as you.family threat, physical discomfort,3 failed relationships, all very abusive. i work as a social worker in oxfam international in belgium. due to candiada symptoms i am finding it hard to concentrate on my work responsiblities. recently i traveled to thailand and met a guy there. we started to like eachother but i am too scared to accept this relation as i fear a repetation of past. though this guy is much different. he was all giving and never wanted anything from me. i was happy and felt very secured with him. something like a blessed experience for the first time in my life. i asked him to give me some time but frankly speaking i am confused. my previous relation is making me fear my future too. what i should do? how meditation can help me? will you give me some suggesions?