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Published: 18 years ago

Canada/USA Joke

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days...

Eventually, on the seventh day, Michael the Archangel found him, resting. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael. Look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a place of great balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "for example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there, I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people." 

God continued, pointing to different countries, "this one will have extremely hot temperatures and be arid, while this one will be extremely cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large landmass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"

"Ah..." said God, "that's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous, and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely social, hard-working  and high-achieving, and they'll be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be BALANCE."

God replied wisely, "Just wait until you see the stupid, loud-mouthed bastards I'm putting next to them......."

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