I think you just dont try to push anything.
You sound sad, thats ok, maybe its hurt. Just as we are constantly growing, we are constantly changing, learning, moving forward, our orbit is ours , we do not trail after one another unless to take advice but literally we cannot do that.
Strive and love yourself. Pray for strength from the One who gave you life when you were not aware of life, now that you are aware, does not negate you were created. The Master Who creates, knows, sees, hears all. Rely on the guidance of the Creator and the Creator will guide you to the path most fit for you.