Re: don't know how to solve my situation
As unfortunate as your situation is, you don't need to be a victim of it. You are not responsible for other people's closed hearts, anger, lack of love for you. This is their own making. If your own mother doesn't love you, she is hurting herself most. She must be a very unhappy woman to not be able to love her own daughter. Your father, being an alcoholic, is very unhappy about himself and suffers from very low self worth. You don't need to to follow in their footsteps. If someone treats you bady, it is their stuff that doesn't allow them to be nice to you. It has nothing to do with you, unless you make it that. You cannot change the way others feel about themselves or yourself, unless they want you. But you can change the reaction towards them when they express their unhappiness to you. Try to see their pain and fear that makes them to be such unhappy beings. Ask, what caused them to be so closed to themselves that they cannot love and honor you for who you are. You will see that they, too weren't loved. When you see their fear (which closes their hearts) you may actually feel compassion towards them. This is your opportunity to break the cycle of repetition. It is easy to hate someone, but this makes you just more unhappy. It is wise to look for the pain that makes people so harsh and angry, cynical and evil. It opens your heart. When your heart opens through compassion, you will find that their behavior towards you will change. You are not the victim here. If you play the victim they will only torment you more, until you stop playing that role. Accept your weaknesses, mistakes, failures, etc., and others will do that, too. You can help your family open their hearts by opening yours. Put one hand over your heart and sing to yourself: "I keep my heart open, I keep my heart open, I keep my heart open, to love." You only need to love and accept yourself, and the world around you will change. Don't wait around for anyone else to love you first, you are wasting your time. It all starts with you. The reason you were born into this family was to lift yourself out of an old burden of guilt (past life) for what you believed was great wrongdoing against those who now are your family. It is now time to stop believing you deserve punishment, and not to be loved. You are as precious to the world as I am and everyone else is. Stand up for who you are. Everytime you think, but I cannot do this because they won't let me, cnhange your thought to "I can do it." Imagine what you wish to do or have, and give gratitude to it, as if it has already happened, because energetically it already has. In due time it will come through for you, if it is in your highest interest. Trust that your challenge is not in vain. Grow from it, and learn from it. You can learn from every situation in life, no matter how adverse it may appear.