I had a relationship many years ago.Yet I've carried that person with me my whole life..
And have felt that this person was the one I was suppose to live my life with...
I've often felt responsible for us not trying to be together...as I was preoccupied or afraid to admit to my true feelings and become vulnerable.
It sort of went something like this...we were together and planning to marry...I was feeling afraid but not talking about it...I was wanting to move out on my own for awhile and build on the relationship we had...Someone from his past was pressing to start a relationship with him...I became frightened and ran instead of facing it and finding closure.
But in a lot of ways this unresolved situation....maybe due to not getting closure kept me stuck and living partially in the past..
I thought of him often...almost as if I could feel him with me..
I've believed some how ...that it was a mistake that we never got back together..
There would be many triggers in my life that would bring him back into my thoughts..smells, someone who looked like him, stood like him...etc...I would dream of him...It's crazy...
At times it feels as if my life has been all wrong...that the course I took was not the one that I was suppose to have taken..
Please share your thoughts on this,
Thanks so much,