Little seems to be going "right" at this time
There have been difficulties that have entered my life in recent years, and it seems that I am not responding well to them. I have lost confidence in my ability to care well for myself. I am seeing unhealthy patterns and beliefs that I learned in childhood more clearly than ever before, but do not have a clear sense of what it is that I need to do in order to move forward in my life.
The losses that have come into my life are major, yet I somehow need to pull myself together in order to overcome them. When I feel weary and downtrodden, such as I have been, it seems that nothing goes right, and then I respond with harsh feelings about myself no matter how I try to release these self-destructive feelings.
I have been told that it is remarkable that I survived all that has transpired in my life, and I know this is true. Unfortunately, I react to this knowledge by feeling alienated from others. There are those who take advantage of others when they are most vulnerable, and I have experienced this phenomenan a great deal, including in recent weeks. I no longer trust myself to make wise decisions, and it seems that I am not in a position in which I can afford to make mistakes.
In the past I have erred by "giving away my power" and trusting others too much. I find that I am not confident in my ability to figure out who and what to trust, and where to focus my energy in order to solve some of the problems that are in my life right now.
I have been waking up during the night with a pounding heart, concerned about problems that I need to address and fear that I am not making wise decisions about how I use my time and energy. I am wondering if a series of fasts and liver flushes might be helpful right now, and if I am needing to be stricter with my diet. There are several areas of my life that I feel deep grief over, and I cry when I think about them. I know that it is counterproductive to be stuck in grief as I am, but I am having a tough time getting out of it, as the losses are great and some of them quite recent.
If I knew what to do, I would do it. Unfortunately I am unsure of what to do. Finances are very difficult for me right now, or I would sign up for a session.