We seem to share similar lessons, or at least the ones you talk about.
I, too, have realized this within the last year. I realized how I'd been looking to my husband to 'save' me, or look to him for my main emotional support, so whenever he didn't it was like he 'shut me off' and I would come crashing down. All related to childhood stuff and looking to heal it now, but looking outside of myself, to him, for example. I saw how that healing can only come from myself and Source.
Like we look for the external when that cannot be a permanent source of love, only the internal will.
That's great that you are recognizing truth in the human condition and you want to find a relationship based on truth and love, and not on our unresolved needs.
Keason, I'm curious if you are open to answer my question. Maybe you could e-mail me. you say you are doing 'work' on yourself and I'm curious what that entails. I too am trying to transform myself by myself, lots of reading (which I've always done), and therapies. Right now I am drawn to inner child work, for example.