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where are your rainbows?
Wrenn Views: 1,280
Published: 20 years ago
This is a reply to # 529,503

where are your rainbows?

god made you to be a helpmate/ not a doormate.
husband by it's teminology is like a gardener/ (husbandry)
which means to tend and care for/ and help to flourish and shelter and protect.
yes god hates divorece and broken vows.. bu tif you want a biblical view.. you also know that there were many times he ordered mass divorces when folks had un eaqually paired.
#1 you marriage vow.. is a contract. bu tyou ahve been faith ful toyour end/ he has not/ thus the contract is alreayd broken.
#2 physical abuse is legally criminal domestic ot not.. if you allow it to contiunue you mightend up severley hurt and hemight end upin prison. nto to count your children are not stupid they know what is going on and if you have a son.. he is watchign and learning that yu accept this/ so it must be the way men treat womena nd your daughter is learning women accept it.
#3 your daughter has no say... she is a minor/ she is immature she has no clue except she wants her folsk (her security as she know s it now which is extrmemly dysfunctional) to remain staus quo . but the real issue is what is best for her.. and i cannot believe livign in such a volatile atmosphere of pain worry stress and violnece and guilt is good for any child... you risk losing her to child care if school gets wind of the violence goin gon there. seriously.
#4 havign an affair will jsut cloud the issue and giv eyou a small temp release/ of feelign cared about by someone to end and trun on you in guilt trips and him gettign jealous and teachign your kids it is ok to cheat..
#5 get out. o ryou might en dup like me.. 12 year slater ahving survied poisonings/ heat stokes form being isolated and teerrozired/ hea dinjureis ccuts and scars and nervous break downs.. i am serious.
your kids nee dyou taking good action NOW and no one else is taking control... step up to the plate.
figure out a budget to best help everyoen make the financial transition.. for me that involved takign the portion of the finances tha twere the kids and mine share of electric and water etc. sicen when i moved /he would see a reduction on those things/ things tha twere curren tly coverd under the budget if it was fo rthe kids went to me/if for the house/ mortgage etc it styed with him/
you get my drift. the kids share of weekly food budget went with me.
he kept house and i was allowed to stay there til i could affor dto move out.
these are jstu ideas for you ..
move out and i fyou lov ehim.. then say ok i will reconsider a divorce only if you go thru a full year of therapy/marriage counseling etc/ and the kids need to be in on it too. (not a christian only counselin gbtw/ you willg et entrapped in other folsk views of what you supposed ly are suppose d to do as a dutiful wife and you don't need that.. god does not put burdens on you .. man does)
there are good sliding scale therapists out ther that will work with you base don income.
if he won't go.. do it anyone once a month fo ryour self an dyour kids..
you cannot change him.. don't bother to waste your energy trying. you can only change your self and your circumstances and if he want s to move into the future and better his charcter he will follow if not.. the future is stillyours and believ eme it willbe a brighter happier one..
youmight notsee the reward tila decade later... bu tyou will
good luck
Ami B.

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