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Published: 19 years ago
This is a reply to # 531,613


I have read the other responses, and you have received good and intelligent advice already.

I will emphasize the foods and dietary things that "Peachy" wrote, for I have been in alternative healing for thirty three years.

But let's deal with another issue altogether, though I am tempted to give you a list of things to do nutritionally as well, let's get to a matter that as yet has not been addressed by others.

First of all, people your age in this el sicko society in which we now find ourselves are unknowingly shortchanging yourself and your future happiness with the woman of your life.

p 0 r n is simply too available and the more you watch it, the more deeply you are affected by it emotionally and ultimately physically.

p 0 r n is designed to take you deeper and deeper into behavior that is far from the beautiful thing that sex in a loving AND RESPECTFUL relationship can be.

p 0 r n cheapens a thing of beauty and it is basically disrespectful and antagonistic towards women.

And if you think for one minute that those women who claw and screech and so forth are the real thing, then you have already built up a false impression about artificial sex.

Next, I don't care how many guys you have heard bragging about how they did this to Mary Jane or what have you, for the most part they are lying through their teeth.

Nice guys are , and this will sound strange, actually more shy and fearful of that "first sex" than girls/women are, especially in today's culture where young women are far from emotionally secure as they once were, for a girl needs a strong father, a loving and caring and PROTECTIVE father, and there are few who grew up the past thirty or so years who have that.

This produces an artificial "need" to be loved, to be cared about, etc, and teen aged girls are now notorious for being the agressor in the early sexual experimentation.

So , keep this in mind. There are VERY few guys who were born lucky (maybe, though I've lived long enough now to have learned that just having a larger organ is NOT what "women want"........mature and emotionally sound women, that is. Most guys are just like you, or me, and contrary to the fear that we all build up in our minds, a woman in love, and who is loved does not even have a flicker of a thought as to Big or not.

Yes, you can read that damned p 0 r n, or watch it, and thereby get a totally false impression about what a loving woman wants.

That fear is in OUR minds, as guys, and not in a regular nice woman.

I know that is easy to say, for it took me a long time to actually understand that. Since I also used to counsel women in helping them with female problems, there is little that I have not heard. Many women told me that the dreaded some really big guy who thought that he was the gift to all women, when in reality it hurt quite often, there were vaginal tears and therefore infections, etc.

You will just have to experience the first time and gradually THAT self induced "guy fear" will lessen.

My hope is that you will abandon p 0 r n and seek to LOVE a woman first........after all, you are only 18. But I also know that once you have taken up p 0 r n it is terribly addictive, no less so than any other narcotic or alcohol addiction.

Many many years ago , in an early day Jack Nicholson movie..with Ann Margret, it was about sexual addiction and sexual athletics and womanizing.

At the end of the movie, Jack Nicholson's character could no longer get an erection or enjoy sex as he should, for he was burned out, and could only pay a woman to .......well, see the movie. Name?? Darn. Art Garfinkel was in it also.

Don't let that happen to you.

Back to teen aged girls of today:

But when a girl has NOT had that kind of security and fatherly love and protection, they become absolutely agressive to "find love" or "get even with parents", etc.

And every guy, no matter what they say, is scared as hell the first time, no matter how manly, for he has that fear deep down that maybe he is not "good enough" or this girl may have had someone with a larger unit, and that fear will kill an erection much faster than ice water.

Instead of p 0 r n, work on those health issues that you have been given. I will check in and see about adding some things.

It's hard to believe, but in the thirty years in which we have been involved in helping hundreds of people to better health, we have concluded, and others agree, that if someone over fifty, or even sixty, is sincerely ready to take measures to restore their health (absent an aggressive cancer, etc), THEY HAVE A BETTER CHANCE AT GAINING EXCELLENT HEALTH THAN A 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN (Or guy, for that matter.


Cause people in our generation did not grow up on Big Macs, fast food, sugary and salty worthless snacks, cokes by the ton, nor did we get rides everywhere, for times were tough and we walked or didn't go.

Teen aged girls were strong, had flat stomachs and could work on farms as good as a guy, almost, except for heavy lifting.

So by the time we entered the service at seventeen, we were healthy as hell compared to today's youth.

The first dentist I ever saw was during the Military physical exam at age seventeen.

I suggest that , if you have met the other emotional questions that were posed to you about religious qualms, etc and if you truly want to continue, then find a time when the two of you can just relax.......don't TRY....take a nap together first, etc and let the sounds, the wonderful smell of a lady that is becoming "ready" and just let whatever happens, happen.

Some of the greatest sexual experiences that I am aware of came after , as an example, on the honeymoon the guy was loving enough, caring enough, and thinking long term that in many instances he just held his new wife all night long, even sitting up and just letting the fears and tensions melt away.....perhaps even for several nights until "it was right"

Twenty or thirty years later, that couple will still be deeply in love...often.........and the sex between them is often so beautiful as to defy description.

p 0 r n is destructive to true love, for true love is caring for the other person, and for their peace and confidence and comfort and so forth, to the extent that they really do not concentrate on their own needs. Once a cycle of mutual giving WITHOUT A SINGLE HIDDEN AGENDA, but only out of true love AND CONSIDERATION for the other, that cycle cannot be broken.

Be not deceived. Many is the person that gave way to all manner of experimentation and they simply will NEVER be able to truly love another person without guile, for they have fallen into the trap of believing those actresses, that every woman walking down the street is soaking wet and ready .

Not so, but a man who loves them gently, with words, with touch, with caring, who listens, and let's the deep emotions that she harbors surface and be dealt with lovingly, will have the most powerful sex in the world, for a woman truly loved, and who knows that, is the most sensuous firestorm of passion and who is then capable of sexual joy that dwarfs the most powerful experience of any man alive or dead, for women truly have the ability for infinitely more pleasure than a guy could ever have.

A man who WANTS that for his lady, and is not jealous or petty, is a man who has found what sex was meant to be.

So relax, and remember that you are as good as any guy if you pay attention to the advice of a guy old enough to be your grandfather, but a guy in top shape who is as able as he was at 18.

And I say it again. If I could choose, and spend the time to KNOW a woman as a FRIEND for a long time before any efforts to "jump in the sack like the movie stars do" and then slowly love that woman in every way possible, from doing the unexpected , notes hidden here and there, etc, that when the sexual part of life together was met, I would want to be with only one woman for life.

That is the power of love and sexual love when patience and an unselfish attitude and a giving nature are mutually given.

Frankly, it's sad that your generation has been so sexed up from the filthy media, for you are under constant pressure to "perform" and sex is NOT a performance.

It's only a part of love.

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