Ok, I'm assuming you have children, and I am slightly concerned/afraid for you and your child/children about your questions and the content of inquiry as to what is appropriate. Education and communication is certainly most important. Sexual education for adolescents ranks high on the "to do list." This talk needs to happen.
You sound confused and a bit dysfunctional. No offense, but your thought process sends up red flags to me. Sounds like you could use some sexual education yourself, prior to teaching your children or others.
self-gratification is normal and healthy. That should be expressed to the individual in question. However, showing them? Tips and pointers maybe, age in question and if your child is bold enough to ask you to show them or demonstrate, perhaps. For the record, self-gratification does not solely encompass lube and touching your genitals sir.
Again, touch is a fundamental in the building blocks of life. Physical contact is important. However, why would you want to advocate and promote touching others in a sexual nature with children? Not to mention you have not even touched on STD's, pregnancy, or protection. Try STD sites. The Internet is loaded with information and pictures, explaining and showing the repercussions of sexual activity.
Children need to be educated yes, but brothels and p 0 r n are not the way to go. Depending on the age, depends on the content/extent of "education." You can be more liberal with a teen vs a child.
Anatomical pictures can be used. Primarily for children. It is the human body, it is truth. It'd also be a good idea to use technical verbiage for corresponding body parts. Know what your talking about yourself before conducting the education.
Hope this helps.