Your story is interesting. It makes me wonder, do You have a problem crossing a road?
There is a risk involved. May not be a big risk, but risk anyway.
Sex is a risk, especially these days with all different "bugs" going around.
I don't give You any specific advice, because i am more than twice Your age.
But i would say that it is a kind of risk management to find the right partner.
When You get that far, there will be a point that You will trust him and together You will make love like a beautiful music.