Re:Dear Andreas, If you only knew....
If you only knew that EVERY SINGLE WORD you mentioned in the post above for Zule is also exactly what I am experiecing.
I don't know if you have read my post above but I have been dealing with the same thing. I have been very sensitive all my life and I carry that into my adult life. I seem to have that same, Bring out the best or the worst in everyone too for no apparent reason at all. It bothers me a lot because I try to treat everyone the same and even though I come off positive, I get negative feedback and it really gets to the core of me. I had that experience today. I, for some reason no matter how nice I was to people, I would get negativity. My Step Dad says I have a very strong aour(sp?)and it intimidates people sometimes, but I'm just Robbie, I love people and sincerely want everybody to be happy. I sometimes feel that because I believe I can provoke a change that it's my duty or something to help others and I tend to forget about myself. This has been the case all my life beginning with my immediate family. I have always believed that there is good to be found in life. I had to hold on to that belief because I had some very bad things happen to me when I was a child and I had to see the roses through those very ugly weeds that were presented to me early on in life.
I didn't grow up in a structured home. My Mom was a professional entertainer and I was the next in line to make sure that my little brothers were taken care of. Even though I was a child myself and had adult supervision, I had that sense of responsibility enbedded in me to take care of my brothers so when I had children of my own, I had already had the mothering experience. My brothers til this day still come to me before my mother for anything. So that is why I have a tendency to think of myself last. After my children had reach a age that they were on their own,and I could go on the roaad and sing I told my husband, "I have to learn how to take care of myself" I didn't know how to. I was very depended on all my life. My mom grew up in foster homes and felt unloved all her life so even though she was on the singing a lot as I was a child, She always told us she loves us. She's a very sensitive person too and it rubbed off on me. I love my Mother and Brothers and we are a very close family but there are some deep seeded issues that CAN be ironed out if we could get together and talk about it.
I feel that at this point of my life, I am in a spiritual transition. I am also a professional entertainer and I was blessed with the gift to sing. I have been very successful in my career and was placed at a halt when I got sick. I never would have thought I would be here learning about all I have learned from you and others about natural healing but I am grateful for the journey because it is a spiritual one. I have been so blessed to give people with cancer-FM-and other conditions the benefit of my experience and they have found help. I take no credit because it's even beyond me, I am just a vessel.
I would like to get to a point in my life were I can find true inner peace and understanding about myself and my purpose as I have an ideal of what it is, but feel that I am in for a even bigger surprise. The journey of life is a truly amazing and unpredictible experience and I now know that I am a spirit being tring to couquer a human experience.
Thanks just for being there Andreas and I send you all my blessing!
PS. My life story gets much deeper than this, Trust me! (smiles)