this entire thread of thought is incredibly wonderful !!
i agree in full with every thing evyeone has said here.
I think we all just see slightly different views base don where we are at in our own life's road.. but basiclly it all boils down to we can do anything we want with the right attitude and motivation.
might i suggest to you zule? about your room mate situation...
story/ 2 guys ride and elevator every day and evyer day when they get off at the work floor one turns and spits on teh others shoes.
the ohter man jsut clamly walks off.
one day the receptionist (whi ahd been watchign allthis ) asked the man that go t spat on... why do you pu tup with that? doesn't it make you anygry ...?
the man replied it isn't my problem.... he obviously ahs a problems and it is obviously soem thign he feel s he needs to do to feel better about whatever...
not my problem... *smile*
don't let her get to yo u zule.
talk to her firmly . and realistically
# 1 apartmetn aws rented as it is/ #2 nothing in your agreemetn says youare supposed to supply a rug
#3 you can't afford one, and hav eother goals for your money
#4 if it is important to her then she needs to fidn a way to reslove her need to have a rug
#5 it is not your job. *smile*
then anytime she brings it up jstu smielnicely and sya i have made my stnad very clear. i do no tneed to keep restating the issue it has been discussed.
do not allow your self t o be draen into negative arguments.. i fsh ekeeps tyring to press the issue jsut ge tyour purse , smile NICELY and say well i ahve an appointment i need to keep you ahve a grea tnight.
and go soem where tha tis pelasant to you and relax..
this might help her realsie you lead a completely separte life. your responsiblility as a roomate is this ...
meet your required fianacial ends and clean up afte ryour self. (ie this means you ar enot responsible fo rher dishes or nmesses either...)
and otehr thing is to treat each other with respect.
she is obviously missign the 2nd part and behavign juvenilish in teh thing s you posted, but don't b e rude ..
just in your mind realise she is behaving as a child/ tryign to control things... she ahs a righ to control her own life .. bu tcertainly no tyours... draw the lines clearly. and stand your gground politely.
I hd to do this mysle fin oen roomate sitaution.. i resorted evne to callin ghte per son by a formal name and insistign tha thtey referr to me in that context also... to ffirmly entrnech in teh othe rpersosn mind/ tha tevne hough we had had a many years of knowin geach other di dnto mean we wer ein any diff circumstance that simply roomates.
anyhow my 2 cents... btw i also did htis with my kids when they were growin gupabotu many things...
(not the formal name thing lol )
but about it is no t my fault if youget to school late...
youhave an alarm clock you live 2 blocks form the school
you knwo the tiem it start sand the consequences
I have made food, youhave clean clothes ... bu ti am not goign to haggle and drag a kid around angging adn startigna steress ful day/even my ex use d to ge tmad at me... why didn't you wake me up? lol excuese me tha tis wha talarm clock do *smile* not my fault youkeep hittin gth esnooze button then tyr make it my fault you didnt get up *)
ithink youcatch my dirhft...
if she feels it her need to get a rugh then tell her by allmeans fulfill your need.. bu titi not your need or your responsiblility.
Ami B. i am so opinionated sorry *smiel*