DO YOU REALLY WANT HELP?
In the past two days I have posted extensively on your "problem" on another CureZone forum.
In the first place, you don't, as you have already been told, LOVE anyone.
And especially you do not love YOURSELF.
And THAT is your problem.
Since I have extensive experience and study in this area, I would be pretty safe in assuming that you did NOT have a good relationship with your father, or none at all.
The way we were "designed", it is imperative that a girl receive the love and respect and protection from a REAL man father, in order to build in that girl, a powerfully strong emotional MATURITY.
Without it, a girl becomes exactly what you are rapidly becoming. It's the most common reason for what you are doing, and what all girls and young women do to "get even" with real or imagined abandonments.
If you had that maturity and confidence in yourself, you would place an extremely high value on that sexual apparatus of yours, for it is not only a beautiful thing to share with one that you LOVE, I said LOVE, but it is a very delicate mechanism and was NEVER designed to be a repository of all manner of assorted sperm and germs and what have you.
Think this through. Really and truly, when and if you pull yourself up out of this self induced mess and change directions, when you do find a man whom you love, do you want to hand him a sexual organ that has been the object of casual use by ...as one has said...the football team?
Would a REAL man want to put his carefully cared for and kept for the right woman ...sexual organ into a sea of who the heck knows what?
No, he would run like a streak from such.
And so would you.
You were given one of the most beautiful things on earth. Womanliness and a place to share with ONE person AFTER the two of you were first friends, then good friends, and finally, sexual partners. The gift of a clean and protected female system is a precious thing, as is a guy who keeps himself wholesome for the woman with whom he wishes to share his life.
You DON'T love, and your plaintive cry for help, complete with exclamation points is a cry from the REAL nice little girl way down inside of you, the one who did not mature emotionally AND spiritually, to cease and desist from what you are doing.
Multiple sex partners produces all manner of ills as you get older, not only diseases, but an emotional barrage of tension that can kill you.
LOVE is beautiful and sexual giving will follow.
Truth be known, you really do not like the sex that much, for you are getting even for some deep down psychological thing from childhood. You even demonstrate that by your statement that you really like the one who talks nasty, etc.
Good Grief Girl..........this clearly shows that you want to abase yourself, NOT to find love.
Your generation has been terribly shortchanged with all of the sexual things that are readily available, and young women begin to believe that they must do this or that to be "in".
And that originates in large part from p 0 r n, which is in reality a sicko operation that is designed to take someone in a continual downward spiral into more and more "experimentation", for that is how they make tons of money, and girls do not realize how those women are ACTING in those flicks. ACTING.
p 0 r n is really an attack on women, to degrade them. NOT to teach techniques, for much of what is shown is to bring you down to the level of anything goes, for that is how a civilization is destroyed piece by piece........
The moment that womanhood is not respected , protected and loved and nurtured, civilizations begin that trip to destruction.
TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND. STOP THROWING YOUR BEAUTIFUL WOMANHOOD INTO THE GUTTER OF LIFE.
Stop all sex for a while and read material on "arrested emotional development". Perhaps find a person whom you can trust to help you with this addiction and restore that clean and cared for part of your body that was meant for a loving and honest and giving relationship, NOT a mere receptacle which you allow others to use and abuse.
Clean up your life. Learn the joy of being a woman.
Yes, I am a guy. A guy old enough to be your father, but a guy raised in a generation that respected and protected women...EVEN from their own folly if necessary.