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Long but really need help. Please...
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Published: 18 years ago

Long but really need help. Please...

I hope someone here can help me. I am a 30 year old guy who has just has his heart broken. I was quite the reble when I was younger. I dated all the wrong girls and was never really happy. Then by chance one night I met the perfect girl. Long story short she changed my whole life. I was a better person because just by being with her. All the old bad habits slipped away. She was my perfect girl. The only thing that had some friends and family worried was she was a bit younger. Eight years younger to be exact. Well, after two and a half years of dating everything continued getting better each day that passed. Everyone thought she was the best thing that ever happened to me. I spent tons of time with her family and really felt like part of it. She was still in school when we started dating so I had to be patient about our potential future together. She had many school related trips that took her away for monthes at a time, but I was patient. I knew it would all be worth it in the end. After all, good things come to those who wait. Lately we had been discussing potential engagement and I have even made the "big purchase." Now we are at present. This weekend she was graduating college. For some time leading up to this, she has been quite distant. I had been feeling neglected. I understood that she was under strain with the stress of graduation and all, so I tried my best to let it go. Unfortunalty this past Friday I felt really put out. It just seemed like friends and family were the center of her world at this very important time and I was last on the priority list. After leaving a dinner with her family I called her Cell Phone to tell her how I was feeling. We argued for quite some time because at first she had no idea where all this was comming from. Like I said, I was trying to keep my frustration from her. After we both calmed down she understood where I was comming from. Unfortuantly, solving things on the phone never really feels finished until you spend time together. Well, we couldn't that night as it was the beginning of graduation weekend. The next night I had to meet her and her friends and family for dinner again and the same issues were still in my head. I felt like I was the one at the table who was getting the least amount of attention. I guess it may have been selfish to feel this way, but I did. Well after I left another phone conversation similar to the one from the night before took place. Not good as her parents were walking with her as we spoke. She got fed up with the conversation and hung up on me. I tried calling back and her mother takes the phone away from her and answers and is extremly rude to me. Now the parents and I always got along great, so I am in shock. Then she hangs up on me. Well, now I'm frantic. I want to fix this. I turn the car around and go back up to straighten things out. When I arrive at the concert that they are going to watch (and I was previously invited to) I walk in and ask her to talk. She says the concert is about to start. I say ok how about after. She says fine, but then the mother goes totally crazy saying that no one wants me there and that I am not welcome at the graduation along with many other awful things. I tell her very calmly that I am just trying to fix what is wrong and that I will abide any wishes her daughter has. SHe won't let the daughter speak and orders me out. I ask my girlfriend what she wants me to do and she agrees with her mom. At this point the mother is really crazy because I haven't left and is threatening to call campus police. Now remember I am totally calm. I abide my girlfriends wishes(which I believe where just to calm her mother down) and leave. On the way out I see her dad comming in. I apologize to him for for the bad timing of the agruement. I ask him his advice as he is best at dealing with his wife. He says it's best that I walk away for now ans see what happens later. I agree and as I am about to walk out the mom sees me talking to the dad and comes out spewing this venom that I never knew she felt toward me. I leave. I go home and am totally crazy with fear that my perfect relationship is over due to something so silly. Well at 11:30 PM my fears come true as I get served with a restraining order. I couldn't believe it. All I tried to do was calmly solve a problem and this. I didn't yell. I never even raised my voice. I just asked my girlfriend what she wanted me to do. Now this is all so crazy. Up until that moment our relationship seemed perfect. We argued about once every 3 monthes tops and it was always easily resloved. Admitedly I picked an awful time to have an arguement with an already stressed out girl, but it seems I am getting a life sentence for stealing a candy bar. Am I crazy or does the punishment no fit the crime? Yes I was wrong to start an arguement at an important time in her life, but it's not like there is a history of this. In 2 and 1/2 years prior, this has never happened before. And the restraining order? For showing up to fix things after I was hung up on. My god, doesn't that seem over the top to anyone? So here I sit. I don't know if it was a knee jerk stress related reaction by her. I know it was coached by the frantic mother. Now I go from planning a wedding to sitting alone with my cat and a restraining order. I have no idea what to do. I can't eat sleep; all the usual broken hearted things, but I have no final answer from her. I can't call. What do I do? I know all I can do is wait, but I was hoping that writing here would get some objective opinions on my mess. Can someone please help? I'm dying here.


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