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Re: keep talking...
taken Views: 1,500
Published: 18 years ago
This is a reply to # 665,918

Re: keep talking...

I have to admit most of the plans were initiated by me. However, she did go along with them all and seemed very excited by them. I guess I was more excited though. It is understandable because I am 30 and she is only 22. I guess it would be harder for her to see the beig picture at her age. She is very mature in her interests and the way she presents herself, but I fear the little girl inside may have come out at this stressfull juncture. With graduation which is a big step and her mother and boyfriend pulling her in differnet directions, it must have been easier to go home to mom for comfort rather than rock the boat. I just don't understand the going so far as to put a restraining order on me. I understand that I should have let it go when she hung up on me. It was the wrong time. But to go so far as to put the restraining order on me. I did not act in any crazy way when I showed up. I just asked to talk later so we could spend graduation together. That's all I wanted. All I can guess is that she was having second thoughts about our plans to begin with and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Without her communicating with me I can only speculate. The restraining order was only for three days and will expire today. I guess I will find out where she stands if she files for a full one year one or not. I guess that would be telling. I keep trying to guess what was going on in her mind. Is hse so emotionally immature that just my showing up frightened her enough to think an order was required or is she just going along with mom. All these questions keep going through my head. I am going to take your advice about the things and pack them up. Looking at them certainly doesnt' help. It is so hard to just do that though. It makes everything seem so final and some part of me hasn't given up hope. I guess my answer to you asking whether these would be my plans on my own is this. Not if I was alone. I am a relationship type of person. My goals are to get married, have home, and a family. The dream as it were. Without someone in my life to share this dream, I am just not interested. I live in a beautiful family owned home by myself and getting out there and doing my own thing is a waste of time without someone by my side. So, my plans you ask. Nothing. Wait and suffer until the suffering goes away. Then hope to god I met someone half as beautiful, sweet, and perfect as the girl I lost was. But at what age. Will I be to old to start a family? Everything looks so negative to me right now. I realize that logically, that it will lesson over time but right now it seems so imposible to imagine being with anyone else ever again. She was the perfect one...

p.s. Thanks for the help thusfar thinker.

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