Sorry to hear about your experience. Hopefully everything went well while she was there. I once sat with a buddy (morale support) while his ex and the police went through his house. From an outsider's perspective it was raw pain. I had known them both when they were dating and even tried to make somethings obvious to him regarding her maturity. It didn't help.
Somethings we just have to find out for ourselves.
It sounds like you are in a good place right now. You aren't lieing to yourself or attempting to make her out to be a goddess and you an ogre. That's great. Honesty is so hard sometimes, but without it, there can be no growth and circumstances are doomed to repeat.
Keep posting man. The good news is that it will pass, and with the positive attitude you have expressed so far, you will come out of this a better person. What does that mean in the big picture?
It means you have just increased your chances for happiness and finding your soulmate 100 fold.
Youv'e made mistakes, we all do, but yours are turning into learning experiences. Yours were also not out of personal actions, just lack of experience. That's really a good thing. Experience is easily had (you just proved that).