I've read the book.... YES, I am a guy.
With very little exception, none of the characteristics
mentioned actually apply to me or any of my buddies.
One more thing...
The passage you reffer to should be re-read. What the good author is attempting to enlighten you about is that when things are seemingly going well some men pull back before they move forward. The key here is when everything APPEARS to be going WELL. From the description of your circumstance, I don't feel this applies to you. Your ex mentioned to you before breaking it off that he had issues with certain behavor. How many times and how often is what is important here. I'm betting he told you well before he chose to go his seperate way, and therefore it would be in your best interest to take time off and think about what you want and who you are. Stop worring about a schedule for healing. There isn't one. Good luck in finding yourself. Take your time, 21 is still very young and dating at 30 is much more fun, trust me.