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Relationship guidence
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Published: 18 years ago

Relationship guidence

My boyfriend is trying to decided on whether or not he wants to stay in the military or leave. He says that he feels that he loves me and wants to marry me, therefore he wants my input on this decision. I am currently in college, and have two years left til I graduate with a degree in Athletic Training. With this degree, I can work at a high school as an Athletic Trainer, or even work in a hospital, since I have some type of medical training with injuries and physical therapy. Overall, i have noticed that the people who graduated before me got pretty good jobs, even if they dont pertain to their degree, but because they have a degree. Anyway, he asked me what I wanted to do after i graduate... and I told him that I am not really sure. I have thought and thought about it, and I have decided that I want to try to get my national and state certification as an Athletic Trainer, and work for a high school or even a hospital. I dont want to go to graduate school and get my masters because I feel that I dont want to go to school anymore. I also know that If I change my mind, i can always go back. Well, I told him this, and told him that those are the only things I want... everything else can be negotiable given they're disagreements. He said that he has ideas about staying in the military, but he doesn't like to be apart from me for long periods of time... and if he gets out, he's thinking about either college or going into law enforcement. I told him that i would be happy with whatever he chooses and makes him happy and what we feel is best for us... and that we will discuss it when he gets home **he's in iraq**. Well, I am getting a bit worried because he comes home soon, and this subject is alittle sensitive to both of us. He hasn't really gone into detail about his options because it's difficult to talk about something so important and sensitive through email and through a 20 minute phone conversation. I do know that one option he is thinking about taking has to do with him being gone from me for a long while... this one i dont like. He knows I dont like it, and yet he still considers it. Tis true i get upset when he talks about it... are my feelings wrong? Do i go back on what I say when I get upset at him thinking about taking this choice? Another question is... I tell him what I want, and it's not very restraining. There are schools all over the country that have jobs for Athletic Trainers, as well as hospitals, or anywhere else...and my career is more flexable when it comes to location than the military, and yet when I tell him that my decision will be more defined after he makes his, he protests and says that it's not all his responsibility. I understand that it's not his responisibility, and I am really trying to understand what exactly he wants from me. Is there a way to resolve all this and actually come to a decision? I think that he should make the decison of whether or not he is going to stay in the military before I even start looking for a job in a specific location since the military tells you where to live, and yet it seems like he's waiting for me to make that decision first and then make his... I have already told him it didn't matter to me whether or not he was a marine or a civilian... I know the consequenses of both choices and as long as I have him with me, i'll go through anything... but I am petrified of where this discussion could lead. Anyone have any thoughts?

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