When I was in college I owned this car. It wasn't cherry and it broke down a lot, but it was a 69 Nova with lots of potential so I kept it for many years.
Then one day I met this girl. She was nothing like anyone I had ever dated before and everything just kept falling into place. Except one thing. That car. I don't remember the exact number of times it left us both stranded on our dates, or even why she kept putting up with it. What I do know is that it sucked down gas like a sponge soaks up water, needed a lot of body work, and oh yeah, a new engine. It really wasn't what I NEEDED at the time. I worked three jobs, lived on my own and paid for college out of my pocket. With all the work I did on it, and the money I poured into it, you would think it was a porche. Finally, one hot summer it broke down on us for the last time. We had been at the lake skinny dipping and were on our way home. The long hot walk gave us some time to talk and she finally spelled it out for me. Seems it had been bothering her for a lot longer then I realized but what she had to say made sense. With all the money I was spending on general up keep, gas, insurance, and towing, I could afford a NEW car. I didn't believe it at first, but she had the numbers. She was right. I loved that car. It had been mine for about three years, but I really didn't have the time or money to dump into it at one time to restore it properly. It just needed too much work. I finally sold that car and got a new one. Years later I saw it once more. Ironically the tow guy was the one who bought it and he restored it very nicely. I pulled up along side him at a light one night when I was home visiting and just listened as she purred along side me. With a nostaligic smile I remembered what fun she was to drive, but also the bills she cost me.
Dude, I know its hard to hear but you need to move on and deal with your own issues. You are the car in this scenerio. Sure you may have LOTs of potential, but you're a person not a car. So unless this girl is a psychologist, its not her place to restore you. ITS YOURS. Only you can fix you. Stop talking about it, stop wasting the time you have wishing about the past and start making your future. Don't tell her that you are going to change, DO IT. Then if you happen to run into her when you are all shined and purring like a kitten, maybe she will take you back. DON'T hold your breath, but wouldn't it be better to do the right thing?
Sounds like you really want to change. I wish you the best and hope that some day when you have a taken care of all this, that you will meet your own lady fair. She's out there, will you be ready for her?