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Need your input on growing up...
 
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Published: 19 years ago
 

Need your input on growing up...


While growing up I had a lot of issues and frustrations. Only now in my 30's do I see where a lot of my problems originated. I don't want to cry "daddy didn't love me" and blame my parents for all my failures in life but I went through something that I couldn't define until later on in life. I had always known that "something wasn't right", but it wasn't as obvious as when some kids are beaten or emotionally abused. Being unable to define it was the worst part I think.

I grew up with a big house, pool, land, food, clothing, shelter, etc... all basic survival needs covered. My parents even paid for most of my college education. So what was the problem? Well, my parents never gave me any guidance while growing up. And I do mean... none. Nothing I can think of except for my dad giving me a short "birds and the bees" talk.

My father never taught me of integrity, honor, respect, how to treat others, how to treat women, how to tie a boat knot, of loyalty, of his work, of his past, or future plans for me out of high school and college. Never asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, in fact we never really talked much at all except for small talk and formalities. He never told me what it meant to be a man, or how to go about becoming one. I don't consider childhood friends, tv, and public school good sources of learning how to become a man. Perhaps my dad did.

I have spent a lot of my life focused on material things, never took many risks, and honestly still don't feel like a "man". I'm not happy either. I feel like my life has no foundation.

I envy past generations of peoples (like Native American Indians) who raised and guided their boys to become men. I have nothing to show for the multitude of generations of men who were my ancestors, and if I ever have kids I have nothing to pass on but my own thoughts on the above issues. My dad gave me nothing to pass on to my future children. At least I will attempt to guide my kids though. No attempt was even made for me.

I'd like your input because I have no concept as to how similar my experience is to everyone else's.

Comments?
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While growing up I had a lot of issues and frustrations. Only now in my 30's do I see where a lot of my problems originated. I don't want to cry "daddy didn't love me" and blame my parents for all my failures in life but I went through something that I couldn't define until later on in life. I had always known that "something wasn't right", but it wasn't as obvious as when some kids are beaten or emotionally abused. Being unable to define it was the worst part I think.

I grew up with a big house, pool, land, food, clothing, shelter, etc... all basic survival needs covered. My parents even paid for most of my college education. So what was the problem? Well, my parents never gave me any guidance while growing up. And I do mean... none. Nothing I can think of except for my dad giving me a short "birds and the bees" talk.

My father never taught me of integrity, honor, respect, how to treat others, how to treat women, how to tie a boat knot, of loyalty, of his work, of his past, or future plans for me out of high school and college. Never asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, in fact we never really talked much at all except for small talk and formalities. He never told me what it meant to be a man, or how to go about becoming one. I don't consider childhood friends, tv, and public school good sources of learning how to become a man. Perhaps my dad did.

I have spent a lot of my life focused on material things, never took many risks, and honestly still don't feel like a "man". I'm not happy either. I feel like my life has no foundation of principles.

I envy past generations of peoples (like Native American Indians) who raised and guided their boys to become men. I have nothing to show for the multitude of generations of men who were my ancestors, and if I ever have kids I have nothing to pass on but my own thoughts on the above issues. My dad gave me nothing to pass on to my future children. At least I will attempt to guide my kids though. No attempt was even made for me.

I'd like your input because I have no concept as to how similar my experience is to everyone else's.

Comments?
 

 
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