Re: Hi there Mysti
HI Autumn, You are right, Forgiveness is such a big topic and there are so many different levels of it, from letting go of the irratic driver who cut you off on the freeway and wishing them well, to the deeper levels of forgiveness, where the hurts are deep, the anger lasting. It is a growing process, and as PJ stated something great you can do for yourself. The reason I wrote on this issue is because my problem with forgiveness was that I couldn't do the anger part of it. I was so mad at myself for even thinking of getting mad.
Who was I to be angry anyways? I was supposed to be "good" in my mind. I guess I spent so many years avoiding getting mad, that when I finally allowed myself to get angry, forgiveness wasn't as hard as it always seemed to be. But it sure is a complex subject.
...About the neighborhood, still lots of Gunshots, I guess I am getting used to it. I don't dive on the ground anymore! I have let loose the desperate search for friendship. I guess it is sort of like trying too hard to find a romantic relationship. It never seems to work that way. I don't feel disappointed about it, more accepting that time will allow things to happen when I am ready.
Martha Beck's book was great. She does talk about Adam in her book "Finding your North Star". I want to read her other book "Joy Diet". I realized in reading her book I was far from looking for my North Star, I was busy trying to help people find theirs. I am working on finding my own now.