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Re: Am I in denial or is it just wrong?
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Published: 17 years ago
This is a reply to # 670,226

Re: Am I in denial or is it just wrong?

I understand where you are coming from but he just isn't like that. He doesn't fawn or mourn over women. He tries to play it off hard as though he can just move on and accept if someone doesn't want to be with him.
A lot have suggested me taking a small vacation but if he wants that, I'm just so afraid of what he might do while I am gone.
His last girlfriend took a 3 month vacation. During that time, he met me and failed to tell me that he had a girlfriend. When I brought up the issue of where whatever we had was going and if he wanted a relationship with me, he told me he had a girlfriend but he had wanted to break up with her for a long time. So I accepted that and told him not to break up with her unless he truly wanted to.
I just don't want the same thing to happen to me.
I am afraid of leaving for a while and him think he is having the time of his life without me. It wouldn't be a vacation for me. I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about him or worrying that he might be doing something that would cause us to break up when I returned.
I am just so afraid of this ending because my feelings for him are just so strong. I've never felt like I've found the one person I want to be with until I met him. Despite the bad points of the relationship, I still feel that way...which makes me believe that he must really be the one if I can look past all of it with him whereas with anyone else, I would have been out of there in a heartbeat.

I think not wanting me to move with him has to do with him thinking his time is up in this place and he might see me as just another part of "this place"...honestly, I don't like it here either. I'm from a resort town and there's so many people around here that just blow my mind with how much I dislike them. He says I couldn't go with him because I have to go to school (college for PhD) and there's nothing for that for me over there. I don't think he would be able to leave anyway...if he decided to, and saw how much just the thought hurts me...I think he'd change his mind.

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