making him food when he is hungry is smothering him?
i wouldnt consider that taking away his power because he can tell me to make him food and i'll do it just because i like to cook and do things for other people.
I think he does get insecurely angry because i can do so much for him that he doesn't do for himself.
Are you saying I should stop washing his clothes with mine and doing all the little things that make me feel helpful?