Re: Siblings who don't talk about conflicts with Mother

Is this statement "nothing wrong with me, nothing wrong with mother, this conflict is normal." true?

It might be interesting to say "something wrong with me, something wrong with mother, conflict is normal if there is no love". It depends what you want to believe.


Where there is emotional suppression their is anger, which leads to distorted beliefs like fighting is normal, and in other situations self hurt and addictive behaviour. We all have a knack of seeing what we want to believe, everything can appear as "normal" because wherever we look we see angry addictive or self hurting people, just like we have always known. Indeed we tend to create such situations with people we are emotionally familair with, reinforcing our beliefs.

Most of us suppress emotions in childhood in order to survive, we have to blot out certain instances which might cast a doubt as to whether we were loved. However we are treated we believe it is love. If we are hurt then we believe that we are in the wrong, that we are "unloveable". This action of denial/suppression is carried into adult life. The emotional rollercoster starts again. (In our minds it has never stopped).

When we question these actions and link them to similar instances in our past we have the opportunity to become aware. This process of questioning is a step towards self enlightenment.

Where there is love there is no blame, hurt or anger.



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