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Re: How to deal with slander and manipulation?
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Published: 17 years ago
This is a reply to # 670,369

Re: How to deal with slander and manipulation?

I am angry, and I can identify the drama cycle that would continue if I acted on my anger by confronting my parents again.

I also realize that confronting them would in a way be trying to convince them that I am right, which in a way would be seeking their approval, which would give them power and credibility over the situation.

I am all for "getting over it", but the term forgiveness to me involves saying that what they did was ok, plus it encourages more bad behavior. Perhaps my definition of forgiveness is different than yours.

When a dog attacks is it better to play dead and submit, hoping it will just go away, time and time again? Or perhaps it is better to strike back and yell out so it learns that there will be consequences for attacking the person and it will learn not to repeat the behavior.

The feeling of disempowerment is one of the worst and unhealthiest things I have experienced, and I don't hold much sympathy for those who cause it in others. They deserve what they get in return. That sounds negative, and may be my cynical side showing through (which I am trying to change), but chosing to be a doormat is definitely not the answer.

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