" But the second one aplies to me - Unloveable is how I sometimes see myself... and so far all my love/sex relationships have been hampered by my inability to be loved, and yup, they all left. But it wasn't that I was "hurt" as much as just that I thought/think that I AM WRONG in even having a conflict with mother... if I have a conflict [with mom when nobody else does], I must be wrong, so therefore how can I be loved?.."
You maybe carrying some of your mother s issues, but the point of reference is always important mother. For alot of us do as I tell you and then I ll love you is often the way, and there maybe some self fulfilling trigger in your relationships that allows for release, seeing yourself as unloveable may also act as a barrier defence mechanism so that you don t have to address deeper issue. It is interesting that you feel this way with mother. Think that you are becoming aware
Sorry that this is a little vague at the moment, am at work and will ponder later