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Re: day one! Warning, long post...:-)
 

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Published: 16 years ago
 
This is a reply to # 700,779

Re: day one! Warning, long post...:-)


wahooo! lots of day 1-ers. i'm here to join also. I went to Dallas to visit my cousin for 8 weeks and gained 13 pounds. yep. I'm at 148 as of this morning...I only lost 5 of the pounds I gained which took me a month. I've been trying to fast everyday since New Years! I did a 3 day fast a month ago, so now I think I'm ready for the long haul. I will be a bridesmaid on May 27 and have a dress alteration on April 15th. Um, I never went to the original dress fitting and told them to just order a size 6. i'm about 15 pounds away from that size 6...I thought that would give me the motivation to eat healthier, but it hasn't. I've been weak! Anyway, I don't have a choice right now cuz my cousin will spaz if I dont fit into that dress. They would have to make me antoher dress if I dont, and they certainly wont have time to do so...along with that, how humiliating would that be. crap. Need to get my ass in gear with you girls!

I will be mainly doing a water fast, juicing on the days I need to be active. I will limit it to only 2 glasses of juice on those days. I will also be going to Hawaii on the 5th of April. Yeah, I have that bikini to fit into. I'm going to with my cousin who weighs 100 pounds. Great huh? Shes one of those people who has 6 bags of chips, 3 pints of ice cream, 4 boxes of cereal, 10 bars and 2 bags of chocolate in her kitchen which lasts for a year. I'm not even exaggerating either. She takes one bite of something then is satisfied. If I have all that in my house, I'd be chowing down on all of them, consuming all that in like 2 weeks...then starting my diet. Food is just not on her mind at all. I'm a hater.

I'm blabbing right now. Trying to keep away from the kitchen, so you guys will be hearing lots from me.

Like most of you I want to lose 43 pounds. Its alot, but you also have to think about how much weight youll gain after the fast. I know I'll never lose 43 pounds from one fast...its a goal though. My family is coming on May 5 from Australia, so I know for sure that I wont be able to fast then. Lots of family events because of the upcoming wedding. I cant avoid eating. They wont understand the concept of fasting and they'll already be watching me. I suffered from bulimia for awhile....and they'll think I am anorexic. Which i know I can never be. I love food way too much. and I know the real reasons i am doing this fast. Well, the main thing is to lose the weight, yes. ok . also to heal my body from all the abuse of bulimia. to reset my body. and to clear my mind. Clear my mind of being obsessed with food. Try to find other ways to occupy my mind instead of food. Learn that theres a better and healthier way to live. I need to learn how to enjoy food one bite at a time instead of gorging it all down. I've recently became a vegeterian for about a month now, working my way to being a vegan.
I've been trying to be a vegeterian for about 6 months now, couldn't do it at all. then one day i turned on the television and saw a chicken being skinned. that ALMOST did it for me. I started watching Animal Planet again, almost every day now. I would cry everyday watching the animals suffer, etc. Last month, my brother made curry with chicken. I tried to avoid the chicken but the curry didnt taste as good. I said, what the hell, i'll eat the chicken. I ate it and it didn't taste as good. i mean, it was good, but also it felt like I was eating a foot with fungus on it. It just happened like that. It was the weirdest moment ever. Realizing that something I love love loved, it downright disgusting to me now. I cant even look at it, feeling guilty! I've always hated seafood and now I feel the same way about meat. Dont get me wrong I miss meat. no, I miss my love for meat. I can still sometimes taste my moms seasoning and imagine chewing it, but instantly after, I feel like brushing my teeth. just feel so dirty. ok i've rambled enough about that. the main thing i was getting at was, i am happy now. or happier. its one step i have taken to my road to being healthier. i've never been a big veggie fan, so this will force me into enjoying more vegetables.
Being a vegan, will also force me to stay away from all the crap junk food. after i establish my healthy habits, i will then introduce some of the foods i love in moderation. thats my goal.

you know, i really should start a blog so i dont have to bug u guys with my long comments. hehe.

do you guys remember the momentyou felt bad about yourself? mind was in the 8th grade when we were weighing ourselves in gym class. I was skinny. I knew I I could've been skinnier but I was happy at being 107 pounds. God, I cant even imagine being 107! Thinking about it, I weighed even less because I had all my clothes on and shoes. I just realized that. I weighed even less! Anyway, after being weighed at 107, my friend (who was a few pounds skinnier than me) gasped and said "YOU'RE 3 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT!" I remember gasping myself with my eyes bulging out. I wanted to hide in a corner. AFter that day, my weight increased everyday. I started going home and eating a ahlf a bag of cheetos, etc. That did it for me. You know, i think itsr eally stupid to weigh girls in front of eachtoher. I wonder what would have happened if that day did n't occur. well, cant' look back. LOOK FORWARD.

well enough of wasting your time. Cheers to feeling lighter, being lighter, and being healthier.
 

 
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