Thanks John, I sure have learned alot. It's strange, because I cannot feel depressed. I feel a feeling of deep joy and relief that she is now out of her body and has this feeling of being hugged by God. That's the feeling I get from her-- that she is relieved that she is past the suffering point and not burdened by her body now-- and that she is ministering to her children and family right now-- though of course we wont' see her there with our physical eyes.
I feel guilty that I dont feel depressed because my uncles and aunt (her children) are all feeling depressed. I cant' be free to say how I feel to them, as they arent ready to hear it -- they have to come to this awareness on thier own. All i can do is pray for them to learn on thier own pace.
Let me tell ya-- hospitals suck!-- stay out of one if you can- but only to visit others. If you find yourself submitted against your will, have people sneak in natural foods and things and lots of color and a small fan to bring with them each visit.