First I started with meds..no help in fact they made me worse. Then I decided to see a cognitive behavioral therapist. I seen him for over 3 years and did some intense anger work and role playing etc. It was not just talk therapy it was very very intense and I wanted to quit so many times but knew I needed to get through the pain to the sadness. I also did some dialetical behavior therapy which is outlined in Marsha Linehans book. She also has a workbook you can do yourself if you cant afford therapy but by all means try your best to afford it because it works!
Before the therapy I used to self mutilate, burn, cut..etc on occassions of severe emotions. I would also feel abandoned and childlike at times (this happened throughout the therapy as well while I was healing). Things got worse before they got better but I am so glad to have found a trusting therapist to work with. I cant say I am completly 100% better but I feel like my symptoms are done 90%. I still at times get the urge to SI but I refuse to give in. I just feel the pain instead. I also still feel abandoned at times but it is far less now just here and there and not every day. I no longer threaten suicide as I found I need to love my inner child who is hurting. I believe my BPD came about because of an abusive physical past. My therapist does not like the term BPD he instead uses PTSD. This made me realize the past had alot to do with how I feel now.
Therapy is really the only way to treat BPD. Drugs tend to make symptoms worse at least in myself. I know it is hard to find a trusting therapist but find one the has treated a BPD patient successfully. There is a difference. I went to therapists for years until I found the right one.