Yes, men can sometimes act like you are their mother. The important thing is not to treat them like you are their mother. (big turn off and they almost always rebel) Instead of arguing with your boyfriend just start cleaning and ask him to do some things as you go along. For example, if you are cleaning the living room ask him (nicely...do you mind doing such and such for me..thanks) to bring the dirty dished to the kitchen sink.
To avoid an unbearable mess, Clean up after yourself. As soon as you finish dinner WASH the dishes. It is easy to get lazy after dinner and say to yourself that you will wash them later or tomorrow but DO THEM RIGHT AWAY. Dirty dishes in the sink leave a bad feeling in the house (so do clean ones in the dishwasher) so get rid of them right away.
Before you go to bed, Tidy the kitchen and the living room. Make sure anything that you were using that evening, even if you plan to use somethings the next day put them away.
You have a baby so you mucst know that leaving things around is not a good idea. Get rid of things you don't need right away. Too much useless stuff in your home gives a bad cluttered feeling.
When you go to sleep at night Hang up all your clothes. It takes 2 seconds to do this
When you wake up in the morning do not leave the house without putting the dirty clothes in the laundry basket, better yet when you have a full load stick it in the washer before you leave, And as soon as you get home put it in the dryer.
Make your bed before you leave the house. Even if your house if a bit messy an unmade bedmakes it look much worse and makes the room look dirty as well. If your boyfriend is still in it leave him a note asking him to make it when he gets up. If he conveniently "forgets" just make it when you get home (peacefully, no dirty looks or nagging) and just ask him to do it the next morning.
Don't allow anything to remain on the floor over night! pick up everything off the floor including toys, This is good training for your child and boyfriend to see the floor bare and makit easier for when you have to vacuum or sweep. (This might take a couple min to do but completely worth the 2 minute effort.)
While your dinner is on the stove, take the broom and sweep the kitchen floor quickly, it takes maybe a minute but you will have a tidy floor! take a damp paper towel and wipe the edges of the floor and the corners. Again, takes less then a min.
If you have one take a swiffer or magik blue mop and instead of sweeping the floor use the damp mop. Try to do this everytime you make dinner. (I know you may think its crazy but once you get into th habit you will be so proud of your beautiful clean kitchen floor!)
Try to take out the garbage every night, dont leave it until it overflows and you are left frustrated with it. Take it out of the pale and hand it to your boyfriend and ask him to take it out. He might resist as first and give you attitude but soon it will become a habit for him. And he will notice how pleased you are with him by doing such a simple job. Be sure to thank him after.
Make a list of everything around the house that you need tidied or cleaned. Make the list as detained as possible. For instance, clean bedroom is much too broad. break it down in tiny parts. because even though you may not feel like tackling the whole project you can at least to a small part every day and work towards your goal of a clean organised house.
1. clean out closet
1a. Take out too small jacket and put it with things for charity.
1b. Take out old sweater that haven been worn since 1988 and put them in bag for charity.
1c. Take out shoes and get rid of ones I no longer need/ wear.
1d. organise shoes at bottom of closet.
1e. take old t-shirts and make them into rags. (you can cut them small and use them at disposable cloths insteadt of buying paper towels. Great for cleaning around the toilet.)
2. Organise dresser
2a. take out garbage from 1st drawer.
2b. take out things for charity from 1st drawer
2c. take everything out of 1st drawer and give it a wipe then replace everything that I need in 1st drawer
See what I mean? You dont even have to do things in order you can do 1c one night and 2a the next. The point is that you get at least 1 small thiong out of the way each night, you know exactly what you need to do so you dont get overwhelmed with a huge cleaning project and it only takes a minute to do!
At tip about the boyfriend problem. You are training him to resent you and he will be a slob just to spite you. Men are highly trainable but it takes a bit of honey. Do not nag him or fight with him. Do not make him see you huffy while you are doing the work. Ask him to help you do small (very small) jobs like tidying the dvd cases before bed, if he refuses do not get huffy just continue to clean as if it doesnt bother you. You have trained him to rebel against you and now you have to train him to respect you again and respect your home. I might take a few weeks but keep your cool. A few week of training is nothing compared to the years of happiness you can have in your home. If you keep up your cleaning everyday, your boyfriend will soon follow.
Another thing, when you get home from work, DO NOT sit down in front of the TV. You will find it hard to get up again. Do not use the excuse that you need a moment to relax because you now have a child to take care of and if your boyfriend sees you sitting in front of the TV it is a welcome sign for him to laze along with you. Once he does that it will take a front end loader to move him. Might even be a good idea to cancell your cable, since you are at work most of the day and when you come home you have manythings to do including spending time with your baby and boyfriend, plus it will save a few dollars each month. TV is a big killer of time and relationships.