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The same cycles
 
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Published: 16 years ago
 

The same cycles


My story my be familiar to anyone that has experienced pain in a relationship. I want and NEED to get past this pain. How do you cope when your significant other comes home & you KNOW he wasn't where he said he was. Yes you can focus on other things, but that type of betrayal cuts deep. Yes you can leave but how do you get the strength?
I can't eat, sleep or even function. My stomach has been in knots for weeks. Everytime I look at him I picture him & the other woman. What's she look like, what they do together, what is the situation that makes him NOT return my calls or come home. I've confronted him & he insists that "my attitude" makes him stay away. But how can I NOT react in anger when I know I'm being lied to?? I get so angry that I sometimes want to physically hurt him REAL BAD. I've lost my spirit, my usual smile & laughter. I've turned into something I despise. And the bad part about it is that THESE are my patterns of behavior when a relationship starts turning sour.
I consider myself an attractive, intelligent 33 yr old woman. I have a good career and financial stablity. However, when my feelings get hurt in a love relationship It seems as though I regress to a child. I physically lash out, resort to name calling, "stalking". The people on the outside world wouldn't even have a clue that I was enduring or engagin in this NONSENSE. My friends describe me as the playful, yet strong one out of our bunch. They don't know that I'm a jealous crazed stalker. How do I break these patterns & start formimg Healthy relationships?? Yes I've tried therapy, church, etc can't find ANY comfort.
 

 
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