This is it for me- what am I willing to sacrafice to survive?
If it is not the fumes, or the hours, or the candida
Is it the thought pattern underlying the survival instinct?
In USA it is I must survive by working to pay the rent
but living in the consciousness of survival
and living in the mental mode of survival is damaging
my chances of survival
I ususally breathe take a break and then clear out the "talky talk"
brain and ask myself "If it was not about the money what would I do"
If I could not fail "what would I do"
I usually come up with some grandiose notion that
seems a stretch from there to here
But within that notion is a seed and it may just be "create my own schedule"
try it on for size ( if this is simply tooo much- read Gregg Braden, or Jerry and Esther Hicks) learn techniques- cuz many were held "down" as children not by mean parents- per se
but by parents who felt they had to control their children..
After getting used to the idea that you can have what you want-start listening to the people that you speak to on a casual basis for a clue if they are crossing your path to help you in your goal or to collaborate in your process
You can't do it alone
The thinking of separateness is what confuses and sickens us
I'm guessing the toll booth is a symptom ;}
and that the candida and leaky gut who existed before the toll booth are symtoms of some type of "not enough" thinking
And certainly chelation and all the protocols for candida(food as medicine http://www.gersontherapy.org) will fall into make the changes you desire
If it doesn't work like a charm do not be hard on yourself
God has 3 answers for your prayers