Re: milk does a body good [edited]
I agree, Trapper.
It is very frustrating to believe we can help, and be denied the opportunity to do so...whatever the cause of that denial.
Inevitably, we each come to the point where we wonder what to do next.
I have concluded that there is an alternative we may not yet have considered.
That alternative is 'goodwill'.
We don't yet have much obvious evidence of the effectiveness on others of our kindliest thoughts (or, maybe we do), simply held within our 'intentions'.
Perhaps we could experiment with this in small ways...NOT to 'control' others, but to simply wish them well, whether or not we interact with them.
It may be that they will come to 'see' through serendipitous means that we could never have guessed...relieving us of the burden of 'telling'.
Two wonderful results come from this method...
...They discover the truths acceptable to them, the same or different from ours, and,
...We get to change our minds, to grow and progress, without embarrassment.
I held the hand of a dying older man whom I hadn't seen for thirty years. He had spent decades trying to 'force' me to comply with his view of the world.
At the end, it was okay. I had no tears, nor did I feel any regret or anger. I had found my own way, and he had gone his.
I think a person's 'own way' exists always, and is very fulfilling when we find it.
Others will find theirs, or they won't...and it isn't our 'responsibility' to try to 'teach' them where they don't want to hear. We are off the hook, and free to associate with any adult mutually chosen, and with whom we can communicate in a mutually satisfactory manner.
[Best to deal with the people we can't communicate with in a fair and honorable manner, and quickly...so as NOT to aggravate bad feelings. Fairness works better for all parties. There are books on this subject.]
(Except for children. With children we have every responsibility to find the effective way to grow them up with the ability to discover their own way. Luckily, children respond to the silent wish for their well-being, faster and more thoroughly than adults.)
Just some thoughts that work for me.
Hope you find a satisfactory solution to your frustration. I certainly know how that feels.