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More than just geography
Alikat Views: 1,724
Published: 14 years ago
This is a reply to # 817,354

More than just geography

This is obviousluy not just about Oakland vs. Santa Clara and everywhere else in between. This is about two people forcing a commitment to happen where there doesn't seem to be a real relationship. He has every right to live his life as he has always done, taking Bart, buses,(hitchhike?) and rides from others, but he doesn't have a right to expect you to change the way you have been living your life to accomodate him.

I don't hear anything that sounds like either of you is willing to make some adjustments or compromise in order to achieve the ultimate, which would be being together in spite of some troublesome logistics. When two people really understand and love each other, making changes to their individual lifestyles is a challenge, but not a nuisance and a burden.

Like most other posters have said, everything you mention is an indication of severe conflict and unhappiness in the future. Eventually you would hit countless other sources of antagonism, ie: what's necessary or not in the household, paying bills, what food to buy at the store, do you take vacations or not, can you get yourself that new pair of shoes you don't really need, but would love to have....etc....

I'm very curious though,you say he doesn't drive, but could fix an old $1000.00 junker? any rate, there's no way even a rebuilt engine can take the drive from Oakland to San Jose twice a day for very long. You'd soon be needing another trash can on wheels, plus the tow truck expense from somewhere on 880 to home.

The question to ask yourself is, why would you be willing to change your comfort zone to enter into something that holds so little promise?....

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