Interesting that our two posts were made just a few minutes apart
...Neither of us having read the other's opinion before we posted.
Been there, I saw many of the same characteristics in the men I wrote about, as you did in your observations.
Except, I saw no one 'play dumb'. In fact, these men were desperate to be 'right'...would go to extremes trying to 'prove' their 'rightness'.
Were they 'narcissists'? Or, were they just 'wrong'...first class *ssholes, who didn't know how to act differently, even if they wanted to?
I have this funny feeling that, as human beings, we need to SEE better ways BEFORE we can adopt them.
Effective, happy living may be a 'monkey see - monkey do' proposition. Individually, we may know that we are goofing it, but haven't yet seen HOW to do better...maybe even doubt our ability to change.
Confrontation may help, but also may just inflame/annoy/hurt, I think. All the 'discipline' and 'confrontation' in the world did not help the family I wrote about...just raised barriers, and separated people permanently.
I remember an old saying, "Softly, softly, catchee monkey."