I see you have become completely spoiled in my absence! This was bound to happen, as I suspect you have been putting more than just iodine in your salve (voodoo love root oil #9, perhaps?? I am surprised they aren't camping in your yard).
I am picturing you in a remote African village situated on a high grass throne...
(Your face paint is dripping and despite your efforts not to give your self away, your grass corset is itching the hell out of you!)
All right, I will email you praises and platitudes (and pictures of musclebound shirtless men.)