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Re: Interesting that our two posts were made just a few minutes apart
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Published: 16 years ago
This is a reply to # 857,892

Re: Interesting that our two posts were made just a few minutes apart

Habits of expression, I think, SoulfulSurvivor.

Like your friend, the letter-writer. She obviously thought it her 'right' and 'duty' to set people 'straight'. And she thought she was 'supposed to'.

We may think we are 'allowed' to behave in certain ways that others are not.

We may even think that our responses are 'appropriate', 'expected', proof of our 'reasonableness' and 'good intentions', when all they are is 'talk to talk'.

By this I mean that we may learn to 'parrot' words and concepts, without really understanding what they mean.

A criminal may learn to mimic his therapist, for example, to appear to be rehabilitated, but not yet understand the concepts behind the therapist's words.

Complicated, eh?

As far as I can see, the best thing to do, when we find that we can't help someone, and that they certainly don't help us, is to leave, as fairly, politely, and as quickly as we can manage.

I didn't invent this procedure...I read it in a book, but everything I've seen leads me to believe it to be best.

The hardest part of the situation, I think, is 'forgiveness', even of oneself...the word rankles so.

I got by the hard feelings by realizing that human beings are sometimes just wrong. Not mean or evil, because no little kid starts out to be evil...just wrong, for whatever reason, and stuck with it...until they realize differently.

That will happen one day, in their own way, or it won't. And we can do nothing to help...except to wish them well.

Golly, I am still realizing stuff about myself, fifty years after incidents!

And, I attach less and less blame to everyone, including me, as the years go by.

Human beings are 'allowed' to be wrong...or we wouldn't have so many opportunities to be wrong!

The trick is in seeing opportunities to be happy. That's lots more fun, and an excellent example to others. It's also easier.

An old saying..."We catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."

My best, good SoulfulSurvivor.



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