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Re: i almost became a mistress... what do i do?
 
b2reflect Views: 2,015
Published: 15 years ago
 
This is a reply to # 855,431

Re: i almost became a mistress... what do i do?


First, Speedy, I am sorry for the pain you have endured. I am sorry for the deceit you also went through.

I do want to comment on your post though:

"Unfortunately, I didn't find out about my husband cheating until 6 years later. I can't begin to explain how hard it is to understand that he has been unhappy for so long and I had no idea. If only I had found out sooner maybe things wouldn't have been so hard to repair."

I think there is always a 'sign' when someone strays. I think we tend to not see it though. I once heard a woman ask, "how will I know if he is cheating?". The response she got was "If you ask, you already know". We know more than we want to admit. We just make other choices, for whatever reason.

"Now my husband will do anything to salvage our relationship. He so desperately wishes that he never had the affairs, he has such regreat and dread for what he has done. He has become depressed and sad. Now he realizes what's important and how delicate and fragile life is and wishes that there was someone back then who could have talked some sense into him."

I am sorry but I think the reason your husband holds regret is because he got caught. He also realized (in hind sight?) how good your relationship truly was, even though he (most likely but will not claim absolutely) said it was not the best thing. He made choices based on what he thought was best for him. He was not concerned (if he was, his choices would have been different) with what was best for all. As for the "someone who could have talked some sense into him" that is his way of not accepting responsibility. 'If only someone could have told me, I would have changed everything.' That is the weak way of it. Also, if his decision was to do this, 'nobody' could have talked him out of it.

Again, I am sorry for your pain Speedy.

As for wanting to be anyone's mistress...for original poster...your worthiness must prevail. If you have WORTH for yourself, then any "like" you have for this man, will not be there. You must remember YOU DESERVE better than SOME other woman's husband. His deception is your first clue to say..."I am more worthy than accepting second best! (to him... and yourself, if necessary)" You already know what you ought to do. I hope it is what is the BEST for YOU!

God bless and good luck...to both of you women~!

 

 
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