Wow, thank you for your response! It is great to know that I am not alone, and neither are you. I remember my daughter at 3...in fact she's been this way from birth:)I am so glad you mentioned about emotional scars... I have worried so much about that with her. I pray that she forgets the times i've yelled. I have a horrible hair trigger temper and thinking back I don't know when or where it came from except that it began showing up in my frustration after having her and then 18 months later having my 1st son and then 2 years later my other son. I believe I possibly had not dealt with my own childhood issues before becoming a mother and the frustration was a huge factor.
I believe a lot of people may think my way of dealing with my daughter is unorthodox but I encourage you to trust your intuition about your daughter... don't let other people label her. I believe something struck a chord in me when I heard something about each generation accomplishing more, getting better then the preceeding and I realized how I always thought that my mom could learn from me and I would often say to myself " doesn't she realize just because she is my mother does not mean she knows it all and is always right" now I know I need to respect my own daughter for those reasons...because I can learn from her too. It was hard today.. she constantly tattles on her 3 yr old brother and she is ALWAYS in a competition with him..who got more, who eats faster , who draws better , jumps higher,etc,etc... it is taxing and since my husband has been working 6 days a week today was esp. hard. I caught myself about to lash out and I thought about my reaction first.. i talked to her and told her I was trying to change and it would be hard and I needed her help to be open to changing too and that things would be different but it would be better. She agreed and things went a little smoother the rest of the day. I will just take each day as it comes. Right now I am trying to still settle in with my "epiphany" and swallow it all. I haven't spoken to my own mother in awhile because she just treats me badly and is always negative..I need to use my time now to focus on my children andour future.
I'm so glad to be here and have someone to share with...thank you and I hope we can meet here regularly to help each other on this journey.. I def. recommend you try and grab the book " the care and feeding of indigo children and the other indigo books by doreen virtue. It gives you a beautiful new perspective!