unfortunately, you can get herpies without having sex., as ift can be spread from mouth--> genitals; mouth->finger genitals, etc.
herpies starts off with itching and somtimes a little burning. then a group of tiny blisters form which are fairly easy to identify. they are not really 'bumps' but more like the tiniest of blisters you have ever seen and have a watery glossy element to them.. then they fade away and leave distrint dark puple/black dots in the same area, then they crust over and are often quite painful.
If you goto google or someplace and type in ;"genital hepies, pictures", you can see exactly what it looks like.
but the best way to determine if you have it is by going to a doctor and getting a blood test for HSV-2. If you have a rash/outbreak at the time, you can also get a culture taken but be warned, it can be VERY painful. :(
LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of people think bacteria diseases like folliiculitus (sp?) are herpes outbreaks. it too has bumps, but they are not blistery, do not turn dark purple/black aferwards and usually don't get crusty eaither.
It usually results from friction, and is a baterial infection which can be treated with common anti-biotics.
goto google and write: herpes and folliculitus and start reading.
good luck and if the worst is true, it is not the end of the world. I haven't had any outbreaks for years by simply staying really healthy, with a high pH life, exercising, and taking some aminos which can help prevent outbrreaks as well as avoid the things that can cause them like Sugar and stress..