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Re: I have a question about my mother
 
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Published: 16 years ago
 
This is a reply to # 924,747

Re: I have a question about my mother


Most guys don't do the card thing until they get married, and then the wife does it.

Sounds like your mother had to be the "go-between" with everyone and always had to take control of others and know exactly what they were doing with each other. I had the same thing in my family, and it limited me developing relationships with others because my mother or father always had to be the center of it all. I never was able to develop real relationships with my siblings and relatives because of this.

One thing to remember... people can't make you feel guilty, or inferior, or control you, without your consent. It is all about control isn't it? Reclaiming the control over yourself, taking it back from others like from your mother, and doing for yourself what no other person is capable of doing - doing what's in your best interest, doing what is right for you, which does what is right for everyone else even if they don't realize it.

Your mother might not even want to control you. Controlling others is quite a burden. She had to when she raised you, but maybe she never let go when she should have. At some point the tables turn between parents and children. The kids grow up and assume control over themselves and ultimately over the parents as they get incapable, as they regress back into being kids and then infants who need to be taken care of. Maybe she doesn't know anything else and doesn't want to let go yet, but you can't move forward without grabbing the steering wheel from her.
 

 
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