Your anxiety is serious because the traditional teachings about God are the common INSTITUTIONAL teachings (very mechanical and cold). The teachings and pastors encourage us to deny SELF, this is WRONG (Colossians 2:18 "Let NO ONE disqualify you, insisting on SELF-ABASEMENT..."). "I am who I am", God's true identity, WANTS a PERSONAL relationship with yourSELF (idiosyncracies, bad habits, etc.), He wants you to LET Him love you and give you all of His graciousness. "SELF" (unjustly selfISH) is wrong, but you can must love others AS YOU LOVE "SELF". Of course, others will rationalize and say "but, but, but...". If they dare, it is their option to contradict God and scripture.
Some people want to have a devotion where God will be a "MASTER"/overseer, but I rather have a WARM devotion/relationship and He is my FATHER (God is love). Some people rather "walk by faith", but since I have love in my heart and LIVE by the spirit, I walk by the SPIRIT instead (Galatians 5:25, "If we live by the spirit, let us also walk by the spirit"). The fear of God is only the beginning of wisdom when an unbeliever learns that they better take notice of The Lord, but when we come to know God, we should no longer fear Him (1 John 4:18, "...PERFECT love casts out fear..." and Isaiah 29:13 "...commandment of MEN...").
The Lord is not Jesus ONLY (you have the option to also love The Father and His spirit,...your choice, if you have love in your heart, this will appeal to you, PERSONAL relationship/devotion) and to also have high regard for your fellow human being (love).
If you violate the code of table manners, a dress code, or a code of etiquette, you sin against (transgress) man's law, not God's (Luke 15:18).
Ephesians 2:15 "...by abolishing in His flesh the law of commandments".
His name forever (in all situations) is "I am who I am" (not Jehovah, Elohim, etc.).
God is not about sin, God rather you love Him as a child and heed good instruction (instead of need to be COMMANDED). I can't see COMMANDS when I look in scripture, I see love ("...the GREATEST of these", 1 Corinthians 13:13, God is love).
"...we must LEAVE the ELEMENTARY doctrine..." and MOVE ON (Hebrews 6:1), because the spirit searches even the DEPTHS of God, 1 Corinthians 2:10.