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Finally waking up by savingmyself ..... Narcissism/Sociopathy Survivors Forum

Date:   12/17/2007 1:26:43 PM ( 15 years ago ago)
Hits:   3,924

Hi everyone, I'm new here and just really need for someone to understand what I'm going through right now. I'm finally able to accept that I'm dating a narcissist. When you say that to some people I'm sure it sounds trivial, but to anyone who has done it you know how it tears you apart at your core. My SO (I think that's the right abbreviation) and I started dating a year and a half ago. I should have seen the signs. I ended up always thinking it was me. He gave me two sexually transmitted diseases, one of which turned into Pelvic Inflammatory Disease and I was hospitalized. He didn't even call me while I was in the hospital let alone come and visit me. He's denied cheating on me, but there's no way he didn't. I was 100% faithful and was tested before we got together. To this day he still says it was me. We went on a trip to the Caribbean last Christmas and while we were there he would ignore me or turn every conversation into an attack on himself. We were mugged at gunpoint and he didn't even hug me after I had just had a gun to my forehead. He makes me beg for any sort of affection...hand holding, kissing, etc. Any time I ask for him to join me for family celebrations, dinner with friends, etc...I'm generally turned down and if not, he keeps me on the line begging for him to join me. The final straw was this weekend. I wanted him to join me and my daughter for dinner on Thursday night and in his normal fashion he dismissed me telling me he didn't want to drive out of his way (15 minutes). I got upset. It was a big day for me. I had just gotten my headshots taken and wanted him to help me choose. He didn't join and decided to ignore me the entire weekend. I finally broke down on Saturday night and text msg'd him that I was sorry and I didn't know what else to do and that I thought he was being "a bit insensitive". His response back the next day (at 9pm) was "Mr. Insensitive here...why don't you BLOW me." This is from a 40 year old man! It was like a 15 year old had entered his body, but I realized he always acts like a spoiled rotten child. This is so against everything I'm about to tolerate this behavior. And I keep going back for more punishment. I'm sad right now. Very sad...very depressed, but I know that in order to save myself I have to be done with him once and for all. Any advice? Thanks for letting me say my peace.

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